 Homework is at best a chore for most children and, unless they are very committed, they find homework difficult, often because they are not motivated enough. Consider the following questions.
When your child does homework to what degree is he or she comfortable, focused and relaxed or is doing homework a battle and a struggle every night?
Therefore answer the following questions:
Do you have to give homework help regularly and constantly?
Have you spoken to his or her educators?
Have you tried gentle pep talks or not?
Do you resort to harsh reprimands and using brutal force?
Rarely will any or these work in isolation and pep talks and reprimands are the last things you should use as they will simply build up resistance to school and homework tasks.
The struggle with homework can, however, be eased by "re-programming" your child’s attitude and approach to homework and school.
Here is a seven step approach to curing the homework battle-like situation:
Step 1. Stop discussing doing homework with your child constantly.Instead discuss how he or she is approaching home tasks. As part of this solution guide your child to step back and really explore the way they are approaching their learning.
Step 2. Find out what pressure you child is under with regard to school tasks. Ask him or her:
Are you worried what your friends will think if you do or don't do your tasks?
Do you find the homework difficult and believe that you are not clever enough to cope with it?
Do you enjoy struggling with your homework, or do you want to end this constant fight?
Step 3. Discuss their answers openly with your child.
Never dismiss their opinions or feelings - even if you strongly disagree your children. These feeling are theirs and are valid whatever you think of them. Dismissing them only reinforces them.
Step 4. Acknowledge that homework is quite difficult.
Show your child that resisting it makes it a bigger problem and creates an obstacle to enjoying the rest of their time of leisure.
When you change their negative attitude they will work more positively and creatively and with less pressure and tension. Positively approaching homework gets it out of the way quicker and removes the stress better.
Step 5. Make yourself available as a teacher:
Offer assistance on how to approach problems but don't give the answers to al questions. If you don't know something say so and work with them so you get to know about it. Praise them for the level of work they are achieving while studies.
Don't be afraid to make yourself look foolish - it provides motivation for them to see the work is difficult, and when they have completed it they get a greater sense of achievement.
Step 6. "Reprogramming" should be done while your child is doing homework, but not when there is any time limitation.They should be able to stop and start the studying many times to discuss any troubles. Initially try it at the weekend but not when they are rushing to quit
Don't introduce it as a special time to spend. Your child should just regard it as a normal homework time. You should, talk to them and focus on their resistance to home task. It may not work straight away. It is a process and eventually they will drop or reduce their resistance and find a more positive attitude towards their homework.
Step 7. Be aware that "getting work done" is not the main focus of your time using this method.
There will be many purposeful stops and starts, as you both explore the best way to approach home task. Let your child express his or her feelings. Discuss and expose all their limiting beliefs and feelings and encourage them to find their own solution.
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